SERIOUSLY.

Do squirrels actually serve a purpose in the circle of life? Other than to eat my strawberries, destroy my tomatoes, and steal my bluberries? Those little bastards are roaches with fur and one day I’ll invent a motion-activated flame thrower to teach them a lesson.

One day.

How are your gardens growing? We’ll start out with the good… because you’ve already guessed the bad.

The Good
Green Beans
They’re more than good, they’re grrreeeeaaat! 3-lbs-in-one-week great. And next week, I’ll show you the awesome, 4-ingredient, barely-a-recipe way we’ve been eating them.

Juliet tomatoes
These are larger grape-style tomatoes. There might be no tomato on this planet that is better for roasting… and then eating straight off the pan. The plant is a beast. INSANELY prolific, which is good because it’s also a favorite target for squirrels.

Meyer Lemon
White flies and leaf miners attacked the dwarf Meyer last year and we thought it was a goner. But we saw new greenery on it earlier this spring and now it’s full of flowers!

Zucchini
Just harvested 3 zucchini this week! Will be starting a new seedling in a pot this week because I expect the vine borers to show up any second now…

San Marzano
Two plants, completely loaded with green tomatoes.

Cantaloupe
Two vines off to a slow start. Dozens of flowers later, I found 3 cantaloupe yesterday!

Basil
LOVES the weather right now. And we love eating pesto on everything.

Kale
LOVES the weather right now as much as basil.

Serranos
I wish the serrano and jalapeno plants would trade places… but they won’t. And I’ve learned to embrace the skinnier pepper. I had to. Because I’ve picked over 100 peppers in the last 13 days.

The Eh
Strawberries
Demoted 🙁 The wonky weather killed production – we went from getting a pound every other day to 5 tiny berries in the last week. But the 2 hours working in that box, weeding and fertilizing and adding new compost, should hopefully start paying off again soon.

White Peach Tree
Massive fruit drop last month left only 8-12 peaches on the tree. But we’ve eaten the first peach of the year and it did not suck.

Grapefruit
Massive fruit drop, only 6 grapefruit left on the bush. I think the real problem is that it has outgrown it’s pot and I waited too long to prune it this year. We’re going to try to make room for it in the ground this summer so it can grow as big as it wants.

Jalapeno
Still angry at me from moving it from it’s big pot in the sun to a less-sunny corner of the “pepper and tomato” box.

The Bad
Tomatillos
Dozens and dozens of blossoms the last two months… not one single fruit. They have until July 4th and then my late summer tomatoes go in the ground in their place.

Pomegranate
2 dozen flowers and not a single one fertilized.

The Other Peach
It tried to bloom in late April and early May… when it was sub-40 in Texas. There will be no peach crop from it this year.

Blueberries
&^%$#@! squirrels.

Eggplant
I planted a seedling ~3 months ago… and it’s still less than 6 inches tall. At this rate, we’ll be having eggplant at Thanksgiving.