The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach? Thank goodness that isn’t implicitly true otherwise this blog would be titled Confections of a Lonely Foodie. The first time I cooked for my husband… it was nothing short of a disaster.

There is plenty of merit in the saying, though. A supporting theory, some fond memories, and a fantastic cookie recipe rediscovered – all in honor of my old roommate:

How to Impress A Boy

1. Tell The Boy that you

love

to cook and bake, even if the only hot food you’ve ever produced came in a Lean Cuisine box. I mean, c’mon. You just met. What’s a little white lie to start out a relationship? It scored you an invite to The Boy’s cookout and that’s all that counts.

2. Rush home, shouting “Emergency! E-MER-GEN-CYYYY!” as you bust through the door. Scare the crap out of your roommate. And then beg. Your roommate must understand that this is a matter of life and death. She just

has

to bake something for you. And quick! The Boy’s cookout starts in a couple of hours. Lucky for you, she agrees… even if she only did so because she had to know

just

how cute A Boy has to be to create such desperation.

3. Take a plate of your roommate’s still warm Chocolate Chunk Cookies over to The Boy’s house – and don’t forget to bring your roommate along! Not many bakers would pause her game of Madden in the middle of an undefeated season to bake cookies for Some Boy she’s never met.

4. Stand there, smile, and graciously take the compliments on those cookies ’cause girl, you earned it! All that standing there on the outskirts of that teeny tiny apartment kitchen, watching your roommate’s every move was mentally exhausting. All that measuring, flipping a mixer on and off, scooping… how on earth does she do it?! And when The Boy tells you that they’re the best cookies he’s ever had and his best friend exclaims, “It’s like a chocolate explosion in my mouth!” giggle and look down – modesty, even when faked, goes a

long

way to impress The Boy and his friends.

5. Thank your roommate

profusely

because one can never say – or hear – “Thank you,” too many times! And don’t abuse your cookie dealer. Her concern is to continue getting half her rent paid, not to ensure you end up in faux-domestic bliss. Sorry 😛

6. Keep your trap shut! Sure, it’s a funny story and your roommate and friends will

endlessly

make fun of you and The Emergency Cookies but don’t share your cookie secret ’til

much

later. Or, months after you and The Boy have broken up, should he email you for the recipe, it’s perfectly acceptable to tell him

then

that you’ve actually never baked a single cookie in your life. And it’s probably reinforcement that parting ways was the right decision, especially when he clearly misses “your” cookies more than you.