So I cooked dinner. For like the 3rd time in a month. And I felt like it was kind of a big step.
And “I cooked” isn’t code for called to have Chinese/pizza delivered. Because that’s what “I cooked” has meant for the last month.
My dad passed away unexpectedly in February and, well, I lost all motivation to cook. And being the oldest and just the kind of person I am, I jumped in head-first to arrangements and decisions and cleaning and phone calls and to-do lists and everything in the world but being at home and cooking. Because in cooking, I have always found relaxation and peace and quiet.
And I wanted absolutely nothing to do with that. Because the sads come out when there is quiet.
But when the lady behind the Subway counter nearly perfectly recalled all three sandwiches in my order, I thought, you know, it’s really not that hard to throw some sandwiches together at home. And “homemade Subway,” is now how Landry refers to sandwiches. [shrug]
And that coincided with you know, I’m kind of tired of crying and not wearing pants* and sweet Jesus would you look at my eyes!. (*Just kidding. Who needs pants.)
Homemade sandwiches became the gateway dish to Zoodles and Cheese, became more zoodles (because seriously, I. freaking. love. my. Spiralizer), became Asparagus-Stuffed Chicken because asparagus at .98/lb? That’ll get a girl’s attention. And send her running straight to the cheese case for a log of garlic & herb goat cheese.
So we look to find a new normal. One in which I tell Jason daily, “I can’t believe I’m not going to get to argue with my dad again.” Or get to give the life-long Oiler fan, who made sure his 10-yr old daughter knew more about football than most grown men, and hard time “What do you mean you want The Cowboys to win?!”
I hope he found his endless supply of chocolate pie and kolache in heaven – rumor has it that blood glucose levels don’t count up there.
Asparagus and Goat Cheese-Stuffed Chicken
Chicken breasts stuffed with Garlic & Herb goat cheese and fresh asparagus.
- 3 chicken breasts
- 4 oz log Garlic & Herb goat cheese
- 15 spears asparagus (thinner is better)
- 1 Tbsp Olive oil
- Preheat oven to 425.
- Pound the chicken breasts thin in a gallon zipper bag.
- Season the "bottom" side (the rougher side) with salt and pepper and then spread 1/4 of the goat cheese over the chicken.
- Top with 5 asparagus spears and roll up, placing seam-down on a plate, and seasoning the tops with salt and pepper. Repeat with the other 2 chicken breasts. (If you need to, use toothpicks to secure the chicken rolls.)
- Heat olive oil in an oven-safe pan (or prepare to transfer them to a baking dish after searing) and place the chicken in the pan seam-up.
- Sear for 3 minutes, flip, and then transfer the chicken to the oven to finish cooking, 25-30 minutes.
- Let chicken sit for ~10 minutes before slicing into rounds and serving with the remaining goat cheese crumbled over top.
Yields: 3 generous servings
Estimated time: 45 minutes
I am sorry to hear of your loss. I was wondering about you when you stopped posting. I hope you find that peaceful new normal.
I’m so sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family
So sorry to hear about your dad Shawnda, I hope you are able to find peace. This dish looks gorgeous and delicious, by the way 🙂
I am so sorry to hear 🙁 prayers for your family.
So sorry to hear about the loss of your dad. I just remember an overwhelming feeling of numbness when my parents passed away. Thinking of you and your family.
The chicken looks amazing and all, but really I just want to give you a big hug. xoxo
Your recipe looks delicious, thank you for sharing during an incredibly difficult time. Friday marks 8 years losing my Dad and Sept 29 will be 2 years losing my Mom. There is nothing quite like it and I am so very sorry for your loss. I wondered why your Mom was staying with you. Please be careful with her, when everything dies down and the quiet comes, is when she will need you most. Hugging you from California and wishing comfort and healing (it does get better, but it takes time – not gonna lie).
So sorry to hear about your loss. I hope you can find strength in your memories with him. Sending lots of love and positive thoughts your way. xoxo
I’m sorry to hear the news of your dad’s passing. We are still trying to sort out our new normal after my father in law’s passing last September. You grow into it, but you never get used to it. I agree with another commenter to take care with your mom too — it is only now (6+ months later) that I see my MIL starting to grieve and really struggling with it. Prayers for your family.
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss.
This has inspired me to spend some more time in my kitchen instead of avoiding the quiet I find there. It’s been coming along slowly for me (my hiatus is for slightly different health-related issues) but seeing posts like yours remind me that if other people can find a little push, so can I. Keeping you in my thoughts!
Hugs, friend. Sending you lots of love from Virginia.
I send you great big bear hugs and wishes for peace while finding your new normal. I wish there were something I could say (or anyone could say) to make it better… but there’s not.. just know that there are people out here who care.
So sorry to hear about your dad! He sounds like a great man and such an important part of your life. Hugs.
So, so sorry to hear about your dad. It sounds like he was a wonderful pops! Squeezehug from Alaska
So sorry to read about the loss of your Dad. He sounds like he was a very special man. Prayers and love from Vancouver, Canada.
I’m so sorry chica. My dad passed away three years ago, and while I wouldn’t say it gets easier, it just gets different. Eventually you don’t think about it every day, but there are days when you do and it still hurts. Sending hugs. If you ever need to chat, I’m around!